ACTIONABLE INFORMATION FOR BETTER DECISIONS

Just Because People Believe Something Doesn’t Make it True

As a general rule, people want to believe that other people are inherently just, fair, and honest creatures that have good intentions and bear no ill will against their fellow humans. But this is simply not true. And believing it is true more often than not puts people in a dangerously vulnerable position. Especially since those who would harm the good and innocent operationalize on this naïve belief.

  

Maybe this desire to believe, naïve though it may be, reflects a good intention of people—the more civilized version of being human. But the road to hell is paved with good intention. Moreover, there is little evidence supporting such a naïve belief.   

​

Maybe this desire is based on an unconscious denial of the cruel and harsh realities of life, i.e., by dogmatically believing in humanity’s goodness, the badness will somehow be “magically” defeated or altogether erased from reality. Yet the way of coping with reality isn’t heathy or adaptive if it denies that reality.

​

No matter how many people believe something, if that something isn’t true the belief that it is true doesn’t make it so. Consensus and groupthink don’t actually change reality based on the general agreement or group solidarity itself but they do make everyone equally blind to same reality that they’ve repudiated.   

​

But alas, it’s counterproductive to focus too much on reasons why people want to believe in the goodness of others without any supporting evidence. The fact is, they do. It’s more important to understand what people can do to avoid harm from those who are actually bad despite their pretense of goodness.  

​

How to Avoid The “Self-Deception Trap” When Interacting With Other People

​

Everyone is self-interested on some level. No matter how that self-interest plays out, no matter what form it takes, it remains the motivation that underlies human behavior.

​

Sure, we tell ourselves that we’re actually altruistic because doing so makes us “feel” like we actually are selfless (who really wants to admit they’re selfish?). But this is merely self-righteous self-deception—a self-deceptive “virtue signaling.” Even the most “selfless” act we commit for others brings us some degree of satisfaction, fulfillment, or pleasure on some level.

​

Whether we’re consciously aware of our own self-interest or it is outside our conscious awareness, it’s still very much there, lurking in the background waiting to manifest itself through our behavior and actions.

 

Step 1: Accept that everyone is self-interested. Thus, the first step to avoiding the self-deception trap in interpersonal situations—and prevent unnecessary harm from, or exploitation by, naively believing others are good—is to recognize and accept that everything everyone does involves self-interest. The dissonance from this acceptance may initially cause great pain and distress, but this is necessary for growth and improvement to happen.

​

Step 2: Avoid stigmatizing self-interest. And because everyone is self-interested, the second step should be to accept that this isn’t per se morally bad or wrong but a very normal part of being human.

​

It’s important not to get tripped up on the moral stigmas or stereotypes that various cultures or societies attach to self-interest because doing so will likely lead to denial of this self-interest altogether in order to avoid the appearance of “being bad” or “being negative” (it’s not easy to hold views that counter the mainstream thought, e.g., we are all self-interested vs. we are selfless and good). And this denial will effectively cancel out Step 1.

​

Thus, a conscious effort to override social expectations and popular thinking will be necessary to enable progression through the following Step 3.

  

Step 3: Characterize the self-interest. After coming to terms with self-interest as a normal part of being human, it’s important to identify—to the extent feasibly possible—where a person’s self-interest lies. More to the point, understand the nature of the self-interest, i.e., whether it’s benevolent or malevolent.

​

Characterizing a person’s self-interest makes it easier to understand whether the person intends to harm or exploit or has less nefarious intentions. This requires a certain amount of investigating and discovery, and this can be labor intensive and inconvenient.

​

But without discovering more about someone’s self-interest, we are left to assume that “people are just, fair, honest creatures that have good intentions and bear no ill will against their fellow humans,” and this is a bad position to be in because we’re at the mercy of human nature. More importantly, we’re seduced by our own self-deception, and the consequence of that is that we become willful victims of “those who would harm [us] and operationalize on [our naivety].”

​

Err on The Side of Caution: Wisdom Doesn’t Come Cheap

​

To minimize the likelihood of harm or exploitation from others, it’s in our best interest (see what I did there?) to override the tendency to believe in people’s “goodness” without any evidence of this goodness or examination of where their self-interest lies.

​

Although the statement “believe in people’s goodness at your own risk” smacks of cynicism and directly contradicts contemporary humanist messaging, it nevertheless holds true in reality. Humans are inherently self-interested creatures; it stands to reason that their self-interest should be a consideration when interacting with them.